Why You Should Meet Your Heroes

I’ve had my fair share of what I’ll call “icon flops” in the past. Imagine you decided to leave the house and go to an event by yourself, which is so far outside the bounds of your comfort zone. You get to the event and you meet some amazing girls and it turns out that those girls are influencers with huge online followings. You’re impressed, inspired, and honestly a little intimidated, but you’re hoping that they like you or at least don’t think you’re a weirdo.

I’ve found myself in this exact situation several times. Living in New York City means it’s always incredibly likely that I’ll see an influencer that I follow on the street, but I’ve noticed that sometimes the online persona does not always align with the in-person interaction—or the follow-up. Cue the nuance: now, I know some people have bad days—we all have bad days— that make us less approachable and less pleasant to be around. Sometimes we don’t want to speak to anyone, not even our loved ones, I’ve been there several times. But at the end of the day, we’re all humans and if you meet someone who comes to you with a genuine energy hoping to engage with you because they admire your content, the opportunity to be kind should present itself.

I went to the NBLSA Pre-Law Conference in Houston, Texas this month and was so excited to watch some of my Law-Tok favorites speak on a panel about their experiences as law students and lawyers. Taylor McGlashan, Esq. (@taylorarmaniesq), Hadiyah Cummings (@hadiyahcummings), Eni Popoola (@enigivensunday), and Leandra Yomo (@leandrayomo) shared what they’d tell their 1L selves, how they’ve learned to be their own advocate, and why bringing others up the ladder as they climb is necessary, not optional. I was hesitant to make my way to each of them, but I told myself that I had nothing to lose—I'd already had negative experiences in the past, so I knew my ego would survive another blow, even though it would hurt if I got turned away. The embarrassment and cringe of being a “fan” or '“groupie” was something I had to put on the back burner because I probably would never get this opportunity again. Without even taking a breath, I approached each of them to thank them for the content they make and I was shocked at how easily the laughter and kindness slipped into our short conversations. These were women whose content and personalities resonated with me with platforms so large that they’d become larger than life to me, but right there talking to them in the Omni lobby, I felt like I was on the same level as them. I said “yerrr” to Eni because she’s a New Yorker and we laughed. Leandra was gracious and made jokes about her dreams for the future. Taylor was such a vibe and really put the battery in my back to keep at it with my social media. And Hadiyah’s warm energy made me feel like we’d already met. There were no condescending attitudes, no fake smiles, and no meaningless small talk about the weather. These were, in fact, the same women on camera as they were behind the camera.

I think in this age of online influencing and celebrity, it’s easy for some creators to allow the followers, clout, and financial opportunities to disconnect from their past self—the girl or boy who was nervous about the things “regular” people are nervous about (doing well in school, getting a good job, finding love, etc.). There can be this palpable distance between them and their fans that is built on an amalgamation of fear and a changed narrative, one that creates an artificial hierarchy between the creative and the content consumer. I also think entitlement has started to seep into our expectations of how our online favorites should treat us when we meet them in person. They are not required to give you all their time nor are they required to be your friend (even if you really want them to transition from friend in your head to friend irl). There’s a balance that all of us have to find now that content creation and influencing has cemented itself into our lives.

It seems so small to say I had a positive experience meeting these amazing women and if you aren’t in the law school world or have no idea who they are, you might think this is insignificant, so instead picture you having the chance to meet your favorite author or singer or favorite someone. To me, this moment was a little redemption story. One thing that Taylor said that stuck with me was that there’s no reason NOT to support one another, especially as Black women in this industry. It’s almost an inherent responsibility to look out for each other and carry the torch, to lead by example, and support each other. That doesn’t mean giving your energy without limits to everyone you meet, but, instead finding a balance that doesn’t turn others away feeling less than. If any of these women read this blog post, thank you for being your self online because it encourages girls like me to do the same—before I started law school, I had a blog and I’d share my thoughts on media and skincare, but I stopped. I haven’t seriously reconsidered writing on my blog since I started law school because I put that creative part of myself on the back burner, thinking I wouldn’t be able to be the writer and poet I so strongly identified as before law school. (Legal writing shrinks my run-on sentences and metaphors into logical sentences without mercy). God works in mysterious ways and during the panel, Eni spoke about her passion for writing and how she’s kept consistent with her blog over the years. It dawned on me that this part of myself doesn’t have to be put on hold. Reviving my blog makes me feel like I’m back to my old self, my true self sitting in front of this laptop, eyes straining, fingers tapping away on top of my keyboards.

Today was far from an icon flop and instead a much needed personal comeback. Sometimes meeting your faves can be a success story.